point proven

haha, so I got some awesome advice from an old friend saying how I should sent the blog post I wrote last night to the person it’s about. After talking to my hubby about him and begging him not to do it, I decided on my own to do it. She just sent him a message saying “she was touched I sent it, but she would care less” which basically proves my point that she isn’t who she trys to act like she is.
If she was a grown up, she would solve this in a nice civil manner, but instead she just ignores it, and brings another people in it that don’t need to be.
She has sent me a nasty e-mail back simply saying how she is so perfect and did nothing wrong. It must be really nice to blame others and never realize that you have done wrong as well. I never said it was all her fault (because I know it wasn’t), but you would think the girl would learn her lesson after almost ruining my marriage once, that when he talks to you about personal things, ignore him or say you don’t want to discuss it. I guess some people never learn their mistakes, as they don’t think they are making them. Oh well.
Well I know now that I am the bigger and better person, and I am over it. Now I know that my hubby will probably be upset because he wishes we would work this out, but I am done trying. She is a bitch, and she obviously doesn’t want to try to work it out. Sucks to be her because she doesn’t know what she is missing out on, and what she may be losing soon.

I hope everyone had an awesome Jan. 09 and that this year only gets better with time. Take care and stay warm.

Happy Hollow Ween!

I know it’s Halloween and I should write a post about it, but I would rather leave you with something that is freaking awesome, and will make you smile and enjoy your weekend that much more. Everyone be safe tonight and this weekend!

(please print this out if you think you may need it over the weekend :p)

Booty Call Agreement

By signing below, you agree to all the terms set forth within the Booty Call Agreement (“Agreement”). The signee, (“you”, “your drunk ass”, “your stupid ass”, or “your dumb ass”) and the holder of the agreement, (“me”, “I”, “myself”, “my drunk ass” or “my silly ass”) must both sign the agreement prior to any nookie.

1. Arrangements
A. No plans made in advance – that is why you are called the “backup.” Unless you are from out-of-town, in which case it’s only a one-time advanced arrangement.
B. There are no phone calls allowed before 10 p.m. Any phone conversation shall last for a period of no longer than 10 minutes. The purpose of said phone call is merely to agree on transportation to and the location of the booty-getting.
C. There will be no requests for “date”-like activities beforehand. Meeting somewhere for drinks first is acceptable, as alcohol will provide us both with a convenient excuse for our actions.

2. The Arrival
A. If your drunk ass needed to take a cab, that’s your business. Do not ask me to pay for it, I will not. If you leave the meter running and come ask me to pay the fare, this will constitute a material breach of the Agreement and you will be subject to all penalties associated with such a breach.
B. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who’s paying…you pay this time, I pay next.
C. BYOB.
D. Do not read too much into this. I don’t want to hear any whining about what this means: We are not getting back together/going out, I do not love you, I do not want to make plans to do anything with you again.
E. Don’t bring any of your friends with you, unless they plan to join the party.

3. The Act
A. NO condoms = NO fucking. It is the responsibility of the party initiating the booty call to bring protection, even if it’s at my house.
B. No baby talk. However, dirty talk is encouraged.
C. Candles, baths, cheesy music, and backrubs are not permitted. Save this sappy shit for your boyfriend.
D. None of that “lovemaking” shit – we’re here to fuck. Again, save that shit for your boyfriend.
E. Sex is not a 50/50 venture. It is 70% you, 30% my drunk ass. If the bedroom activity even approaches 50/50, consider it a bonus.
F. Doggie style is the preferred position. The less eye contact the better.
G. I am not required to perform anything even remotely resembling oral sex. Should I choose to, consider it another bonus.

4. The Aftermath
A. I am not responsible for any conversation muttered post-climax. Expect this conversation to be littered with empty promises and a lot of “I’m Sorries”. Recognize this and dismiss it. I acknowledge no responsibility for the emotional impact this may have on you later.
B. No comparisons with former lovers – neither of us will be happy with the answer the other gives.
C. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it – I don’t care.
D. No falling asleep right after sex. It’s over. So get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home. Likewise, if we’re at your place, do not be surprised to see me pulling my clothes back on and splitting mere minutes after my orgasm. Do not ask me to stay; I’ve done what I came to do, now it’s time to go.
E. You are responsible for finding your own transportation home. I will not drive you anywhere. Once again, asking me for cab fare constitutes a material breach of the Agreement.
F. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
G. The holder of this agreement is not responsible for personal items left behind. Items such as scrunchies and jewelry that you use to mark your territory will be either turned into the lost and found (i.e. whatever empty box I happen to find laying around) or simply thrown out. Items such as bras and panties will either be turned into the lost and found or displayed proudly throughout my room/apartment – do not be surprised to find such trophies hung from ceiling fans or closet doors. You give up all right to ownership of any articles left behind, intentionally or accidentally.

5. Material Breach
A. It will be considered a Material Breach of the Agreement if any of the following occur:
1. You ask me for money, for any reason, at any time before, after or during the act.
2. You bring a friend that will not join in.
3. You refuse to leave after the act is completed.
4. You use the words “be gentle” without the word “don’t” in front of them.
5. You fail to bring condoms and suggest we do it anyway.
6. You ask me to stay if we’re at your place.
7. You refuse to leave if we’re at my place.
B. Should it be determined that a Material Breach has occurred, and such a determination can only be made by me, you will be subject to the following penalties:
1. You will immediately be removed from my apartment. No more than two minutes leeway will be allowed for purposes of getting dressed. At the two-minute mark and no later, you will be escorted from the apartment, clothes in hand if necessary, and your stupid ass can find it’s own way home. Try not to let the door hit you on the way out.
2. Your name will be removed from the “booty call” list for a period of no less than two weeks.
3. If you can demonstrate that you understand the rules after two weeks, you will be allowed back on the “booty call” list, after submitting an oral apology. NOTE: there is a difference between a verbal apology and an oral one, if you cannot figure this difference out, your name will not be added back to the list until you do.

By signing below, you acknowledge, understand, and agree to all terms set forth above. You forfeit the right to make any changes to the Booty Call Agreement You hereby release me from any responsibility for emotional distress brought on by a Late Night Booty Call. You understand that the holder of this agreement is fully incapable of sustaining any relationship with substance so it is truly better this way.

X___________________________ Date ___/___/_____ Signee

X___________________________ Date ___/___/_____ Holder of the Agreement