Happy Hollow Ween!

I know it’s Halloween and I should write a post about it, but I would rather leave you with something that is freaking awesome, and will make you smile and enjoy your weekend that much more. Everyone be safe tonight and this weekend!

(please print this out if you think you may need it over the weekend :p)

Booty Call Agreement

By signing below, you agree to all the terms set forth within the Booty Call Agreement (“Agreement”). The signee, (“you”, “your drunk ass”, “your stupid ass”, or “your dumb ass”) and the holder of the agreement, (“me”, “I”, “myself”, “my drunk ass” or “my silly ass”) must both sign the agreement prior to any nookie.

1. Arrangements
A. No plans made in advance – that is why you are called the “backup.” Unless you are from out-of-town, in which case it’s only a one-time advanced arrangement.
B. There are no phone calls allowed before 10 p.m. Any phone conversation shall last for a period of no longer than 10 minutes. The purpose of said phone call is merely to agree on transportation to and the location of the booty-getting.
C. There will be no requests for “date”-like activities beforehand. Meeting somewhere for drinks first is acceptable, as alcohol will provide us both with a convenient excuse for our actions.

2. The Arrival
A. If your drunk ass needed to take a cab, that’s your business. Do not ask me to pay for it, I will not. If you leave the meter running and come ask me to pay the fare, this will constitute a material breach of the Agreement and you will be subject to all penalties associated with such a breach.
B. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who’s paying…you pay this time, I pay next.
C. BYOB.
D. Do not read too much into this. I don’t want to hear any whining about what this means: We are not getting back together/going out, I do not love you, I do not want to make plans to do anything with you again.
E. Don’t bring any of your friends with you, unless they plan to join the party.

3. The Act
A. NO condoms = NO fucking. It is the responsibility of the party initiating the booty call to bring protection, even if it’s at my house.
B. No baby talk. However, dirty talk is encouraged.
C. Candles, baths, cheesy music, and backrubs are not permitted. Save this sappy shit for your boyfriend.
D. None of that “lovemaking” shit – we’re here to fuck. Again, save that shit for your boyfriend.
E. Sex is not a 50/50 venture. It is 70% you, 30% my drunk ass. If the bedroom activity even approaches 50/50, consider it a bonus.
F. Doggie style is the preferred position. The less eye contact the better.
G. I am not required to perform anything even remotely resembling oral sex. Should I choose to, consider it another bonus.

4. The Aftermath
A. I am not responsible for any conversation muttered post-climax. Expect this conversation to be littered with empty promises and a lot of “I’m Sorries”. Recognize this and dismiss it. I acknowledge no responsibility for the emotional impact this may have on you later.
B. No comparisons with former lovers – neither of us will be happy with the answer the other gives.
C. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it – I don’t care.
D. No falling asleep right after sex. It’s over. So get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home. Likewise, if we’re at your place, do not be surprised to see me pulling my clothes back on and splitting mere minutes after my orgasm. Do not ask me to stay; I’ve done what I came to do, now it’s time to go.
E. You are responsible for finding your own transportation home. I will not drive you anywhere. Once again, asking me for cab fare constitutes a material breach of the Agreement.
F. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
G. The holder of this agreement is not responsible for personal items left behind. Items such as scrunchies and jewelry that you use to mark your territory will be either turned into the lost and found (i.e. whatever empty box I happen to find laying around) or simply thrown out. Items such as bras and panties will either be turned into the lost and found or displayed proudly throughout my room/apartment – do not be surprised to find such trophies hung from ceiling fans or closet doors. You give up all right to ownership of any articles left behind, intentionally or accidentally.

5. Material Breach
A. It will be considered a Material Breach of the Agreement if any of the following occur:
1. You ask me for money, for any reason, at any time before, after or during the act.
2. You bring a friend that will not join in.
3. You refuse to leave after the act is completed.
4. You use the words “be gentle” without the word “don’t” in front of them.
5. You fail to bring condoms and suggest we do it anyway.
6. You ask me to stay if we’re at your place.
7. You refuse to leave if we’re at my place.
B. Should it be determined that a Material Breach has occurred, and such a determination can only be made by me, you will be subject to the following penalties:
1. You will immediately be removed from my apartment. No more than two minutes leeway will be allowed for purposes of getting dressed. At the two-minute mark and no later, you will be escorted from the apartment, clothes in hand if necessary, and your stupid ass can find it’s own way home. Try not to let the door hit you on the way out.
2. Your name will be removed from the “booty call” list for a period of no less than two weeks.
3. If you can demonstrate that you understand the rules after two weeks, you will be allowed back on the “booty call” list, after submitting an oral apology. NOTE: there is a difference between a verbal apology and an oral one, if you cannot figure this difference out, your name will not be added back to the list until you do.

By signing below, you acknowledge, understand, and agree to all terms set forth above. You forfeit the right to make any changes to the Booty Call Agreement You hereby release me from any responsibility for emotional distress brought on by a Late Night Booty Call. You understand that the holder of this agreement is fully incapable of sustaining any relationship with substance so it is truly better this way.

X___________________________ Date ___/___/_____ Signee

X___________________________ Date ___/___/_____ Holder of the Agreement

the things we do for family

This past weekend I drove about 30 minutes north of where we live to pick up my brother who was at a wedding. My mom had always instilled in us not to drive home drunk and that we could always call her no matter what time or day and she wouldn’t judge. Trust me, my brother and I have both taken advantage of this, which isn’t a bad thing. We normally call each other, but there has been a few times where midnight the house phone is ringing and we are nicely asking to be drove home. I love my brother. He is awesome and one of the greatest guys I know. We are two years apart and it wasn’t til high school when we got really close. I honestly don’t mind the 2am phone calls to pick him up. I would rather be woken up at 2am by him calling asking me to drive his drunk ass home, then be woken up at 2am with a cop on the other end saying “We believe your brother has been in an accident, and it doesn’t look good”.  This is one thing I for sure want to instill in my own children, and in my little cousins (which trust me, I have started). They whole reason I gave you this pre-story is because I came across and article today that just made me cry. It is an amazing story and I want to share it with all of you.

A 19 year old girl and her 17 year old brother died because of a drunk driving hitting them. ( I know that doesn’t sound like much, but read the story).

… The 17 year old brother was at a party, and he had a little too much to drink. He knew better not to drive home, so he did the right thing. He called his 19 year old sister and asked her to come pick him up at the party because he knew he was unable to drive home. The 19 year old sister left her house in the middle of the night to go pick up her little brother so proud of him for calling him and not attempting to drive home. She gets him from the party, gives him a big hug and thanks him for being responsible. About half way home they are struck by a drunk driver, and neither of them make it, but you know the drunk driver does. The parents get a knock on their front door, and with both of them barely having their eyes open, they answer the door. The see a police officer standing in front of them explaining to them that their children were involved in an accident and unfortunately they didn’t have it. The mother starts screaming NO NO NO, my daughter she is upsets and our son is staying over his best friends house, NO NO NO.  The mother runs upstairs to find her daughter missing, the dad runs outside to see her car is missing. They both start to cry instantly. The next morning the parents found out that it was their children in the car that had been hit. She had spoke to some kids who were at the party and they simply told her that her son didn’t want to stay, he wanted to go home so he called his sister. They found out that on their way home, the children were hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light and flipped their car. The mother was so upset to learn that the drunk driver walked away from the accident with only some minor injuries. The mother was so proud of both her children, one for knowing not to drive and be the cause of an accident, and the other for being there for her little brother…

So the story is … two innocent kids die because of a drunk driver. I am not saying either one of the kids were right, but they were being smart about their decisions.  The son didn’t want to drive drunk, and the sister didn’t want her brother driving drunk. Unfortunately in the end, they both paid the price for someone else’s mistake.

nice people always finish last … now dont they ?

Its amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, its not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. ITS A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen until they get into what theyre after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole? now this is where the theory begins. She doesnt want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They dont realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don?t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn?t THAT nave. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They dont say, Oh hes hot? or I want to have his children? about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they dont need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action? I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE? at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, ?Why isnt he paying attention to me so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, Ive let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass?. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him? even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a listener you cant turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a listener you cant do anything about it just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesnt work like that. The girl wont come to her senses and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls arent looking for nice guys they say they are but theyre not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that dont treat you with respect, that dont listen to you, and that dont care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself because he has listened to it all.

* and this doesnt just happen to nice guys, it also happens to nice girl, Trust me I know. nice girls finish last 2, just this article is about nice guys finishing last *

Interesting facts to think about

The last few days I haven’t written because I have either been really busy or just haven’t wanted to sit down and write. It’s been hard and frustrating these days. I love my hubby and I am so glad he has a good job with an awesome company. Me on the other hands, I don’t know what to do. I need a job, but no one is hiring. I want to go back to school, but it’s so much money. I have been trying to get it all figured out, and honestly I think this weekend I solved my own problem. I know what I am going to do, and once I have something set in my head, I get in done. I want to see find a little part time job, but I really do want to go back to school. We shall see what truly comes from this, and you know I will keep you updated.

Here is something I found that was quite interesting about people, and it’s something that makes me realize my life isn’t so bad, and I can really do whatever I want to do with it. Enjoy

~ Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas … he always went bankrupt several times before he built Disney Land.

~ Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four, and he didn’t read unitl he was seven. His teacher described him as *mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in his foolish dreams*. He later was expelled from that school.

~ Leo Tolstoy, the author of War and Peace flunked out of college. He was described as *both unable and unwilling to learn*

~ Abraham Lincoln ran for public office seven times and was defeated everytime before becoming the president of the United States.

~ Beethoveen was told at an early age that he had no talent for music.

~ John Lennon was labeled *learning disabled*

~ Michael Jordan was cut from his high school’s basketball team.

~ The Beatles were turned down by Decca Recording Company because *groups of guitars are on their way out*

~ When Lucille Ball began studying to become an actress in 1927, she was told by the head instructor of John Murray Anderson Drama School to *try another profession, any other*

~ Lean Uris, the author of the bestseller Exodus failed high school English three times.

~ Woody Allen flunked motion picture production at New York University and The City College of New York. He also failed English at N.Y.U.

~ Marilyn Monroe was told when inquiring about modeling work that she better learn secretarial work, or else get married.

When life gives you limes … drink some tequila :p

I apologize for not writing yesterday. It has been busy around here, and I just didn’t get time to sit down and write something.

Well today I had to run to Wal-Mart to get some fruit for the house, but mainly to get hubby’s medicine. We went to the doctor’s yesterday and his blood pressure is still higher than she would like it, so she increased his dosage. I am happy that he is finally getting healthly and we can be happy and healthly together. This little deaf man told me I was cute today, it made me smile from ear to ear (and I still am). Well I got everything we needed and as I was walking out and I seen *him*, yes him, the last person I would ever want to see walking in. I quickly turned my head and kept talking on my cell. I honestly don’t think he saw me, but it’s weird. I honestly have hate for that kid, and I don’t like to hate people. Oh well.

I hope everyone is having a good day. I am going to go for a little run!

Abortion

I would hope all of you know what an abortion is, but if not, let me educate you first.

An abortion is the termination of ones pregnancy by having a doctor remove the embryo/fetus from the uterus (which obvious kills it). There is a thing called a miscarriage which is a spontaneous abortion which is not caused by the mother or is not removed by a doctor.

Okay, enough of the education, let’s get to the real matter. Abortion in my mind is wrong, 100% totally wrong. If you are old enough to have sex, then your obviously old enough to have the baby. There are only 2 cases where I can see thinking about having abortion, but maybe where the morning after pill could be used instead. (The morning after pill is a high dose of birth control that stops the fertilization of the egg and sperm.) The sperm takes anywhere from 12 to 72 hours to meet with the egg and produce, so only if you are raped, or it’s incest because then the sperm and egg have not met, and the baby is not formed yet.

Unless you have had one of those two things happen to you, then you need to grow up and deal with life. If your 13 and feel your old enough to have sex, then guess what, your old enough to get pregnant and have a baby. I am sorry that you want to act like a child now and be like *whoa is me*, but you made the adult choice, now live with the adult consequences!

A baby is the most precious thing there is. Why would you want to kill it? You aren’t even giving the baby a chance. I would rather you give the baby up for adoption than abort it. That is just horrible. What if your mother decided she didn’t want you and aborted you? Then guess what, you wouldn’t be here today reading my blog. My point is, if your going to have sex at a young age, be responsible about it.

End Note: I have a sister-in-law who is 18, and guess what, she has a baby. Except her baby isn’t like just born, she is 4. Yes 4, believe it. She was a girl who decided way too young to have sex, and she got pregnant. She didn’t have an abortion, or have someone else adopt her kid, she kept her, and raises her everyday. I am truly proud of her, and wish her nothing but the best!

Here is a great little poem about this topic:

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

Learning Time

I decided instead of writing a long post today, I would make it fun, and take one of those annoying surveys. I promise to have an awesome entry for tomorrow. Enjoy

series one – about you

– Name: Lia
– Birth date: August 7
– Birthplace: Sarasota
– Current Location: in the office room
– Eye Color: Blue
– Hair Color: Dirty Blondish/Brownish
– Righty or Lefty: Righty
– Zodiac Sign: Leo the Lion

series two – describe yourself

– Your heritage: Italian, German, French, and something else
– The shoes you wore today: haven’t put shoes on yet
– Your hair: Long, and in a ponytail today.
– Your eyes: how bout we stick to blue
– Your weakness?: Personalities …
– Your fears: Death, losing that someone i love, and bugz
– Your favorite pizza: homemade pizza
– One thing you’d like to achieve: To find a job that I truly enjoy and to start my own family, in my own house.

series three – what is

– Your most overused phrase on aim: I don’t talk to much on aim, but prolly “kk”
– Your thoughts first waking up: “Uck, do I have to wake up?”
– The first feature you notice in the opposite(or same) sex: their smile and eyes
– Your best physical feature: My eyes and boobs * yes i like my boobs *
– Your bedtime: umm anywhere from 10pm til midnite
– Your greatest accomplishment: marrying the man of my dreams

series four – you prefer

– Pepsi or coke: Neither
-McDonalds or Burger King: Neither, but if I have to choose McD’s
– Adidas or Nike: Nike
– Lipton or Nestea: I don’t really care but, Lipton
– Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
– Cappuccino or coffee: Cappucino

series five – do you

– Smoke: nope
– Cuss: I try not, but I do.
– Sing well: haha NO
– Take a shower everyday: Yes
– Have a crush(es): oh yes, I crush on him EVERYDAY!
– who are they: shhh I can’t tell you (he lives with me though)
– Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes
– Want to go to college: I want/ need to go back.
– Like school: Sometimes
– Want to get married: Oh yes
– Type w/ your fingers keys: Yep, all 10 of em!
– Believe in yourself: It depends
– Get motion sickness: No
– Think you’re attractive: I don’t know really
– Think you’re a health freak: Not really
– Get along with your parents: Most of the time
– Like thunderstorms: Love them.

series six – in the past month, did/have you

– Drank alcohol: Yeah
– Smoke(d): Yes
– Done a drug: Yes, smoking and drinking are both drugs
– Have Sex: depends on what you consider the past, but yes!
– Made Out: Yeah
– Go on a date: a few
– Go to the mall?: Yeah
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope, I should try it
– Eaten sushi: yummmy yes
– Been on stage: Yeah
– Been dumped: Yes
– Gone skating: Yes
– Made homemade cookies: Yes
– Been in love: Yes
– Gone skinny dipping: Yes, haha
– Dyed your hair: I’ve thought about it.
– Stolen anything: Yes, and i feel bad

series seven – have you ever

– Played a game that required removal of clothing?: Yeah
– If so, was it mixed company: Yeah
– Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yeah
– Been caught “doing something”: Yes
– Been called a tease: Yes, all the time lol
– Gotten beaten up: does your brother beating you up count ?
– Shoplifted: When I was really little and didn’t know any better.
– If so, did you get caught: I don’t remember
– Changed who you were to fit in: A long time ago, but it’s not worth it

series eight – the future

– Age you hoping to be married: I am already married
– Numbers and Names of Children: I want twins (boy and girl) and yes I do have their names picked out already.
– Describe your Dream Wedding: Honestly my wedding wedding was nothing like my actual wedding. My actual wedding I think is way beyond what my dreams could have imagined.
– How do you want to die: In my sleep
– What do you want to be when you grow up: I am grown up, and going for nursing
– What country would you most like to visit: I want to go back to Italy

series nine – opposite sex

– Best eye color?: Blue/Green
– Best hair color?: Doesn’t matter really.
– Short or long hair?: Doesn’t matter
– Best height : Taller than me, because if you aint, its sad
– Best weight: Still doesn’t matter
– Best articles of clothing: Whatever
– Best first date location: a fair or something cute and simple
– Best first kiss location: anywhere, just has to be sweet and cute

series ten – number of

– Number of girls I have kissed in my life: 2
– Number of girls I have made out with: 0
– Number of girlfriends you’ve had: 0
– Number of boys I have kissed: 5
– Number of boys I have made out with: 3
– Number of boyfriends you’ve had: 2.5
– Number of drugs taken illegally: well drinking at 18 is illegal, but I dont know how much times I have done it.
– Number of people I could trust with my life: 4
– Number of CDs that I own: a lot
– Number of piercings: 6 currently
– Number of tattoos: 0, currently
– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? A pretty good amount actually, I think about 10 or so.
– Number of scars on my body: Lots, most recent would be from my knee going through the stove.
– Number of things in my past that I regret: i dont really have any regrets, dont believe in having them.

Well I know it’s dumb, but I hope you enjoyed!

I was awake at 10 minutes til 7am. Why you ask. Oh I will tell you. My wonderful Hubby was having a minor problem and thought he needed to go to the ER. He wakes me up, we talk about and it find out he just has a sereve migraine. Oh well, non the less I have been awake and happy most the day.

I just got home from the beach. We got all the family together there and just ate some good old american food. Nothing really special today. No cool entry as I am way tired and just want to sleep. I will make sure I have an awesome entry for tomorrow!

In-Laws!

In-Laws, you know, normally the pain in your arse? Well my in-laws are NOTHING like that. I honestly have the best in-laws that I could ask for. Not only do they treat me like family, but their actually family (no matter if it’s a sister, cousin or aunt) treats me like part of their amazing family.

Hubby parents (all of them) are amazing people. They would do anything to help anyone they could. Hubbys mom and step-dad live in a cute ltitle ranch house next to an ex-steeler. They are two of the funniest people I have met. Step-dad teases me weekly (when I get a chance to chat with him on the phone) about his fake ivy. They have gorgeous ivy that grows acorss the front yard. Now I thought it was fake because it doesn’t look real, so I asked him about it one day, and he told me I was blonde (which I am). For my wedding person, he went to wal-mart and got some fake ivy and put it in my gift and told me to start growing my own and not let it die. I smiled and laughed about it.

Now my hubby’s dad and step-mom are opposite his mom and step-dad. They live in a houses that they built and have mulberry trees (yummy). They have raised their kids to understand the meaning on a dollar, and on weekends they run their own lilttle one show movie theater. It’s not always the movie that came out that week, but it is always family friendly movies that I loved to go watch.

My Mother-in-Law (MiL) and my Step-Mom-in-Law (SMiL) both have myspace. Now it’s not very often that they leave me messages, but when they do, it’s the sweetest things ever. Like the other day MiL left me a little comment just saying “I love my best daughter-in-law”. Now she has another one, but no one likes her, and we don’t speak of her very much. So it’s nice to know she likes me more (which I never doubted). All in all, I truly love ALL of my family, and they mean so much to me.

of all things

Well I was helping my mom do something in the kitchen, and all of things to happen, one of the worst happens. My knee went through the stove top (OUCH) and broke it. We are looking into the part to replace it, but after shipping and the hassle of putting it in, it will be a like $300.  So I am searching on Craigslist and found an awesome double over for only $150. I think it’s sold, and hopefully dad doesn’t notice. Oh all the things to do, I do something like that! Well good thing I am not hurt too much. Have a good night!